


Just Your Typical, Uneventful Visit To Wonderland

by Lenore



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Multi, Plot What Plot, Porn, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-02
Updated: 2006-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-05 10:58:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenore/pseuds/Lenore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronon gets into the sex pollen. No one minds. Or notices, exactly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Your Typical, Uneventful Visit To Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://onelittlesleep.livejournal.com/profile)[**onelittlesleep**](http://onelittlesleep.livejournal.com/) was decrying the lack of Ronon sex pollen stories, and I also thought it was a shame. I'm pretty sure this isn't what she had in mind, but...there is Ronon and there is sex pollen.

PCX-439 was a multi-hued green paradise, bright spring-colored grass, foliage a glossy emerald, light olive stalks, and that was pretty much it, green as far as the eye could see, except for the flowers, fields and fields of them, like jolly pink snow cones minus the snow.

Rodney returned the scanner to the pocket of his tac vest. "Well, this was a wasted trip."

Teyla took a deep breath. "I find the air here most bracing."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, that makes it all worthwhile."

Sheppard shifted his P-90 on his hip. "So, nothing at all, Rodney?"

"What did I just say, Colonel? On a scale of places that could possibly be useful or interesting, this planet rates a big, bucolic zero."

"Okay, kids," Sheppard said, with a casual nod in the direction of the gate. "Let's head back. Maybe we can still make it to the mess in time to snag some chocolate cake."

Ronon was quiet, had not in fact uttered a word the entire time they'd been offworld. This was hardly an uncommon occurrence, and no one thought twice about it.

* * *

Luxuries were few and far between in the Pegasus galaxy, and Rodney made a point to savor any he could get his hands on, a good cup of coffee, the occasional Belgian chocolates smuggled in on the _Daedalus_, a long, hot shower.

After missions, Rodney would sneak off to the locker room he'd found a few corridors over from the gate room. In all the private quarters, there were automated conservation protocols, impossible to disable, the water always seeming to cut off just as he was starting to relax. For whatever reason, the public showers had no such built-in rationing. Rodney felt entitled after putting his life on the line on some distant planet—okay, so today it had been all grass, no mayhem, but just the possibility of danger was stressful enough—to enjoy as much hot water as he pleased.

Ordinarily, he would have avoided any situation were communal nudity might be a possibility, but no one else seemed to know this place existed. It was one secret he was careful to guard, always waiting until it was late and the halls deserted to replenish his supply of bath products and towels and leave behind a fresh change of clothes in the Ancient equivalent of a locker.

Apparently, though, he hadn't been quite stealthy enough, because just as he was sinking into the promising warmth, a rustling sound came from out in the locker room.

"Hello? Is someone there?"

No answer, but a moment later, Ronon stepped into the shower, letting the water sluice over him, shaking his head, his dreads sending droplets flying.

"Um. Okay," Rodney said, more amenably than he would with pretty much anyone else. "There's plenty of room for both of us."

Ronon still didn't speak, but he turned, and Rodney had never thought of himself as a person whose eyes bugged out. Scientists were trained, after all, to expect the unexpected, although how anyone could have anticipated that Ronon would be _that_ huge when hard he couldn't imagine.

"Maybe there's not really that much space, after all." He edged over a few showerheads.

Ronon followed, pushing him up against the tile, biting his neck, hard enough to make him say "ow!", although not quite hard enough to make him mean it.

"Is this about that caveman remark?" Rodney squawked when Ronon gripped his wrists. "Because I meant that in a good way."

Ronon's answer was to push his tongue into Rodney's mouth, let go of one arm to take hold of his cock, broad palm wrapped around it. Ronon smiled in a feral sort of way and started to pump Rodney's rapidly hardening dick.

Rodney shuddered like someone who hadn't been touched in way too long. "I told Carson we were close." He bent his head to lick at a nipple.

Ronon growled, a deep, serious sound from the back of his throat, and whirled Rodney around. The survival part of Rodney's brain lurched with the fear that he'd done something to piss Ronon off, and then he felt fingers, _big_ fingers, slick with his passion fruit shower gel, pressing inside him.

The muscles clenched all the way up his back. "I haven't actually ever—"

Ronon licked a hot stripe up Rodney's neck and crooked his finger, and there were starbursts of sensation all through Rodney's body. "Right," he said, breathing harshly. "Better late than never."

He actually whined when Ronon pulled his fingers out, but then he had Ronon's cock to contend with, and suddenly he was in danger of passing out from manly sexual meltdown. Ronon thrust, and then Rodney was babbling "Oh, God!" and "right there!" and "what the hell took you so long?"

* * *

Elizabeth wound up the debriefing in an efficient fifteen minutes. The mission seemed wholly uneventful, no reason to linger over the details. She headed back to her office, was just pulling up the quarterly personnel evaluations she needed to finish when Ronon surprised her, shutting the door behind him.

She put on her _I'm listening_ look. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah." He closed the shades with a quick turn of his wrist.

Elizabeth never actually _saw_ him cross over to her desk. Just suddenly he was there, peeling off her shirt, thumbing open her bra, flicking her nipples with his fingers, making them stand at attention.

"Ronon!" She drew in her breath sharply, and he bent his head to lick the curve of her breast. "Oh, God. I thought you were never going to get the message." She wrapped her arms around his neck, grip tight, determined to keep him right there, doing exactly that.

He stripped her out of the rest of her clothes, didn't bother to take off so much as his own shirt, and made her stand there naked while he stared at her body. God! He knew just what she liked, to feel vulnerable and deliciously slutty. She moaned when he slipped his hand between her legs, and it didn't take much before the heat was rushing to her cheeks, her body clenching ecstatically.

He smiled, and it looked dangerous on him, and he bent her over her desk, his cock pushing between her lips. He squeezed her breasts, not entirely gently, and really went at her. She came, and he didn't stop, like he had the strength to fuck her forever, and she came again, at just the thought of it. He pulled out, ran his fingers over her pussy to slick them, and trailed them back to circle her other hole.

"God, yes! You know I want it."

He pushed in incredibly slowly, taking her over by degrees, making her feel everything, his fingers in her cunt, thumb working her clit. A long, hot fuck, and she couldn't stop coming.

"Where the hell have you been all my life?" she gasped, during one of the more climacteric orgasms.

* * *

Teyla was brushing out her hair, just about to go to bed, when the door chime sounded.

"It's me," Ronon's voice came gruffly over the intercom. "Let me in."

She waved her hand over the sensor, the doors slid open, and Ronon stomped inside.

"What has happened?" she asked, frowning with concern.

Ronon came at her, pushed the strap of her nightgown down over her shoulder, baring her breast, and kissed wetly around the nipple.

She twisted her hands into his hair, jerked his head up sharply, and gave him a chastising look. "Why did you not come to me sooner? I have been waiting most impatiently."

It took only a few, well-orchestrated moves to get him naked and on the bed, the sash from her robe securing his hands to the headboard.

"I have imagined what I would do, whether I would take you, or let you take me."

Ronon pulled at his bonds. "Looks like you made up your mind."

Teyla jerked her gown up over her head and sank down onto him. "We will have time later to explore other possibilities."

Ronon showed his teeth when he smiled, and Teyla started to ride him. She cupped her breasts in her hands and thought ahead to the next time, when Ronon would hold her down, plunder her pussy.

"We must do this often, now that we have finally given in to it," she said breathlessly, as the first orgasm shuddered through her.

* * *

Almost half past six in the morning, and John was checking his watch about every two seconds, wondering where the hell Ronon was. Going for a run at the crack of dawn was his thing, after all. John just came along for the ride. So he really didn't appreciate being stood up.

Finally, footsteps thudded up the stairs to the catwalk. "Sorry I'm late."

John shrugged. "As long as you're not blowing me off."

Ronon grinned crazily and took off at a brisk clip. John hurried to catch up, no idea what that was all about. They were near the end of the first lap when Ronon grabbed him by the wrist, pulled him into a shadowy corner, and shoved his hand down the front of his sweatpants.

"Hey!" John said loudly.

Ronon's hand stilled, but didn't actually stop what it was doing.

John pushed Ronon's pants down. "Wait up, or this party is going to be over way too soon." He shook his head. "I can't believe you finally picked _now_ to do this. It'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable in my quarters."

Ronon smiled and sank to his knees and sucked John's dick like a freaking evil genius. John barely managed to push him away in time, breathing like he'd run a hundred laps instead of just the one.

"Get your pants off, so I can fuck you," John put on his _obey me_ commanding officer tone.

Ronon ditched his clothes and got down on his hands and knees.

John smiled, a little dazed. "I always wondered if that would work. Should have tried it sooner."

He shucked his own pants and dug the little tube of aloe vera lip balm out his pocket and smeared what there was of it onto his cock. He pushed in, and Ronon rocked back to meet him, head down, really putting his strength into it.

"Jesus!" John said shakily, when Ronon started to squeeze his dick with his ass. "We are _so_ not waiting years to do this the next time."

* * *

It was almost time for his afternoon shift to begin when Chuck staggered out of the supply closet, hastily tucking his shirt in. Wow. So he'd never imagined _that_ would be so hot, but clearly he just hadn't given it enough thought.

* * *

Carson was grabbing a quick sandwich at his desk when a commotion broke out in the waiting room. Major Lorne and a half dozen marines were trying, not all that successfully, to wrangle a rather wild-eyed Ronon.

"We think something's wrong with him, doc," Major Lorne announced.

"Do you, now?" Carson crossed his arms over his chest.

Lorne was the king of understatement, since Ronon was at that very moment trying to hump the portable x-ray machine.

"Get him over to the exam area and help me get the restraints on him."

This took some doing, but finally they had Ronon enough under control that Carson could draw some blood. Even with Ronon restrained, he had to be careful to keep his crotch out of groping reach. Nurse Carstairs seemed far less concerned for her bosom, bending over Ronon at every opportunity. Carson had to glare very hard to get her to back away.

He patted Ronon on the shoulder. "Don't you worry. We'll figure out what's the matter and get you right as rain soon enough." He tapped his earpiece. "Colonel Sheppard's team to the infirmary, please." He hadn't noticed anything amiss after they'd returned from their recent mission, but with Ronon displaying such symptoms, he didn't want to take any chances.

When the others arrived, he drew their blood as well, and studied the results. He found Elizabeth had joined them when he came out to deliver the news, and, oddly enough, so had Chuck, Dr. Simpson, several of the botanists, and the guy who worked behind the line in the mess hall whose name Carson was always embarrassed he couldn't remember.

Elizabeth took a breath and pulled herself up to her full height. "So, what's the word, Carson?"

"Oh," he said, shifting his attention back to her. "He'll be fine, but it would have been helpful if someone had told me about the indigenous plant life you encountered on PCX-439."

"It was just grass!" Rodney insisted, and then his certainty faltered a little, "And, well, those snow cone things."

"That's what the flowers looked like," Colonel Sheppard explained.

"Yes, well, _Rodney_, those snow cones of yours were giving off pollen that, as it happens, has rather a significant effect on Satedan biochemistry. Ronon's seratonin levels are off the charts. I've given him some medication. It'll be a little while before it kicks in."

"What about," Teyla's tone was very cautious, "the rest of us?"

Carson shook his head. "There's an enzyme in Ronon's blood that makes him susceptible. Those of us from Earth don't have it. Neither do Athosians."

Sheepish glances were exchanged amongst the group, and Carson really didn't want to know what that was about.

"Do you think...he'll remember the events of the past twenty-four hours?" Teyla asked.

"There's no reason to believe the pollen has any sort of amnesiac effect," he told her.

As a group, they hung their heads.

At last, Elizabeth piped up, "Isn't it possible that the pollen could have had some kind of...impact on the people around Ronon, something that might not show up in your tests?"

"I really don't think—"

She cut him off with that cool _I'm the boss here_ smile of hers. "I'm asking if it's possible."

He sighed. "In this galaxy? I suppose anything is."

She lifted her chin. "Thank you, Carson. That's all I needed to hear." She looked around at the rest of the group. "Perhaps we should go and let Ronon get some rest."

There were hasty murmurs of agreement, and then the lot of them stampeded toward the door. Carson shook his head and went to check on his patient. To his dismay, he found Nurse Carstairs busily putting her bosom at hand level. She jumped when he cleared his throat.

"Don't you have medical supplies that need inventorying?" he said sternly.

She scurried off, and Carson did a quick check of Ronon's blood pressure, which was slowly returning to normal. He made a mental note to refill the bowl of condoms he left in the waiting room and put out those leaflets about the morning after pill he'd had printed up. Sometimes he felt like the counselor at a sleep-away camp for two hundred hormone-addled grownup children. He sighed heavily and went back to his corned beef sandwich.


End file.
